My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

Reasons Why I <3 Me!

4 Comments

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.”
(Self-love Quotes)

Pope Morris XI

Pope Morris XI agrees I’m pretty fucking awesome! (I cobbled this together from various pics off the net to amuse some friends. My appologies I don’t remeber where I got them. Especially the t-shirt. That was a cool site.)

A couple of years ago I had a therapist* who wanted me to write down three good things about myself everyday.  My question to him: “Do they have to be different things everyday?”  His answer was of course, “Yes”.  Needless to say I never did that exercise.

At the time, & since then, & before then, I was stumped as to how I could come up with three new things to like about me every day.  Sure, I could come up with three things period.  But every day?  Do you know how many days that is?  It’s a lot!

For this Thursday Things list I have decided to take up the challenge.  Sort of.  It’s just going to be this one day, but I’ll come up with more than three things.

  1. I’m not dead yet.  Considering where my head has spent the last twenty years, I’d say that’s pretty awesome of me!  Hurray for living!  Even when I did try to kill myself I panicked & went to the ER (because calling 911 seemed so dramatic…)
  2. I fall down, then I get back up.  Sure, there may be bleak, empty days/weeks/months, maybe some self-pity, in between, but the important part is I have always gotten back up on my feet & continued moving forward.  And I haven’t died yet.  That one’s still pretty great.
  3. I’m strong.  Mentally & physically, I am stronger than I often give myself credit for.  And it’s that stubborn kind of strength that just makes it that much worse/better.  I’m going to be a runner someday!
  4. I’m funny & silly.  I don’t know what to say about this one.  It’s just true.
  5. I am loved.  The why of it will likely always remain a mystery to me, but people love me.  I have always been well liked wherever I have landed.  I think it’s because I have big breasteses.
  6. I am a capable learner.  Granted, I struggle with this at times since my illness causes cognitive issues, but I am an intelligent person.  I love to learn, & am an avid reader of fiction & nonfiction when my focus allows it.  These days I especially love learning about how to eat & exercise to make myself healthy body & mind.
  7. I love to help other people.  I get it from my mom, & I cherish this about myself because over the years I have gotten to know, or become aware of, so many people who don’t give a flip about other people.  That makes me very, very sad.  I hope someday I can use what I have learned from my own struggles with my weight & mental issues to help other people in similar straits.
  8. I love to read.  Reading should never be underestimated.  Everyone should do it.  Even if you just read trashy novels.  If a man doesn’t read – & I mean actual books, not magazines or websites, I lose all interest.
  9. I love to dance.  One of the things that makes me saddest about my weight is that I don’t go dancing as much as I used to.  Granted I’m also a lot older than I used to be, but I don’t have the energy for it & when I think of all the fat I’m shaking around it makes me very self-conscious.  Entirely a mental issue I know.  I have gone dancing & very much enjoyed myself.
  10. Toad the Wet Sprocket is the greatest band ever.  EVER.  & I know it.  Go me!
  11. I have some really great friends.  Shows good character & judgement.
  12. I have paid all my bills & not overdrawn my checking account in many months.  Bonus, I have actually managed to maintain a little money in a savings account.  Score!
  13. I am a kind, compassionate person.Yeah, that’s pretty a great thing to be:~)
  14. I’m a Pisces! I don’t care what the new astrology says.

Okay, fourteen is a nice round number.  I shall stop here.  I think that’s a pretty good list.  Maybe I could come up with three things every day.  Well, I know I could do one!  Someday I’ll have to try that, but I think I’ve got enough going on these days:~)

*This therapist also fell asleep during every one of our sessions.  Seriously.  Every. One.  Never take the mid-afternoon appointment.

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Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

4 thoughts on “Reasons Why I <3 Me!

  1. Seriously? Your therapist fell asleep??????????????? Oh dude you are so FIRED! OMG I don’t know how you put up with that! I would need therapy for my therapy!

    • Yeah, that was a shitty experience. Since I was living alone at the time they had me on a program to have weekly home visits, but no one ever came. What makes this really bad, is this guy was over that program so he knew no one was coming out & still no one ever showed up. That’s Tennessee public mental health right there. Sadly, I can’t say Alabama’s is any better:~/ I have a post planned about my latest, & nearly fatal, let down with the mh system here.

  2. You know I remember having to do similar exercises when I was in treatment, what is it with depression and lists? I just think this is really interesting. Toad The Wet Sprocket for the win, however you know I’m going to say The Cure is the greatest band ever.

    • Yes, I know. & I can let The Cure slide because they are pretty awesome.

      & you’re right about the lists. I guess it is just an easy way to organize thoughts & information that doesn’t require too much structure. Makes it easy to keep up with, & I know I lack much focus or memory when I’m depressed. I like lists anyway though. I love making lists! I make lists all the time for everything. Love thinking & planning. If only I was so good at doing>_<

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