“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.”
A couple of years ago I had a therapist* who wanted me to write down three good things about myself everyday. My question to him: “Do they have to be different things everyday?” His answer was of course, “Yes”. Needless to say I never did that exercise.
At the time, & since then, & before then, I was stumped as to how I could come up with three new things to like about me every day. Sure, I could come up with three things period. But every day? Do you know how many days that is? It’s a lot!
For this Thursday Things list I have decided to take up the challenge. Sort of. It’s just going to be this one day, but I’ll come up with more than three things.
- I’m not dead yet. Considering where my head has spent the last twenty years, I’d say that’s pretty awesome of me! Hurray for living! Even when I did try to kill myself I panicked & went to the ER (because calling 911 seemed so dramatic…)
- I fall down, then I get back up. Sure, there may be bleak, empty days/weeks/months, maybe some self-pity, in between, but the important part is I have always gotten back up on my feet & continued moving forward. And I haven’t died yet. That one’s still pretty great.
- I’m strong. Mentally & physically, I am stronger than I often give myself credit for. And it’s that stubborn kind of strength that just makes it that much worse/better. I’m going to be a runner someday!
- I’m funny & silly. I don’t know what to say about this one. It’s just true.
- I am loved. The why of it will likely always remain a mystery to me, but people love me. I have always been well liked wherever I have landed. I think it’s because I have big breasteses.
- I am a capable learner. Granted, I struggle with this at times since my illness causes cognitive issues, but I am an intelligent person. I love to learn, & am an avid reader of fiction & nonfiction when my focus allows it. These days I especially love learning about how to eat & exercise to make myself healthy body & mind.
- I love to help other people. I get it from my mom, & I cherish this about myself because over the years I have gotten to know, or become aware of, so many people who don’t give a flip about other people. That makes me very, very sad. I hope someday I can use what I have learned from my own struggles with my weight & mental issues to help other people in similar straits.
- I love to read. Reading should never be underestimated. Everyone should do it. Even if you just read trashy novels. If a man doesn’t read – & I mean actual books, not magazines or websites, I lose all interest.
- I love to dance. One of the things that makes me saddest about my weight is that I don’t go dancing as much as I used to. Granted I’m also a lot older than I used to be, but I don’t have the energy for it & when I think of all the fat I’m shaking around it makes me very self-conscious. Entirely a mental issue I know. I have gone dancing & very much enjoyed myself.
- Toad the Wet Sprocket is the greatest band ever. EVER. & I know it. Go me!
- I have some really great friends. Shows good character & judgement.
- I have paid all my bills & not overdrawn my checking account in many months. Bonus, I have actually managed to maintain a little money in a savings account. Score!
- I am a kind, compassionate person.Yeah, that’s pretty a great thing to be:~)
- I’m a Pisces! I don’t care what the new astrology says.
Okay, fourteen is a nice round number. I shall stop here. I think that’s a pretty good list. Maybe I could come up with three things every day. Well, I know I could do one! Someday I’ll have to try that, but I think I’ve got enough going on these days:~)
*This therapist also fell asleep during every one of our sessions. Seriously. Every. One. Never take the mid-afternoon appointment.