My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou


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Today Was Better & It Kinda Disturbs Me

“Ask yourself: ‘Can I give more?’. The answer is usually: ‘Yes’.”
-Paul Tergat, Kenyan professional marathoner (Running Quotes)

My feet while walking in the park.

I may have used this one before, but it’s the most apropos photo I have & I couldn’t find anything online I like & feel comfortable using.  Those are my feet in my shoes at the park.  Pretty much what I looked like today, except I wore gray sweatpants today.

Today was a better day.  So why does that disturb me you are probably wondering?  Because I lost 3.2 pounds last night at Weight Watchers.  That’s more than enough to cover what I had gained over the last two weeks, so I feel confident last week’s gain was a result of fluid or something like that from having been extra active that week.  What disturbs me about it is I don’t like the idea my mood over the last week was so influenced by my weigh-in.  Of course that wasn’t all it was.  Moods & emotions are too complex for that.  Today was all sunshine & rainbows.  Not to mention I had a free waffle coupon for my birthday I traded in today.  Nummy! Continue reading

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So… I’m Really Angry These Days

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
~Buddha~
(ThinkExist)

image used from BipolarsDisease.info

Yeah.  I noticed I had not only gotten back to actively playing facebook games.  Not just the usual three or four, but bunches of games.  I started playing them not just in the evenings while watching TV, but first thing in the morning when I got up.  I have been spending hours day & night on these wastes of time.  Okay, me wasting hours of my day on gaming is nothing new, but on facebook games??

I decided to limit myself & focus more on things around the house I’ve been procrastinating on, & that’s where it got crazy.  I realized I was angry.  Really, really, crazy angry.  About anything & everything.  The kind of angry where someone saying hello might as well be punching me in the face. Continue reading


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For Valentine’s Day I Loved ME!

“You have to stay in shape.  My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60.  She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
~Ellen Degeneres~

Feb 2011 progress pic, 248.6

If I had taken this pic when I should have it would show more progress, but alas I waited to take these till after the week I was sick & gained. Oh well! It’s just a couple of weeks till more are due, so you probably won’t see much then either, lol.

A quick post since I have been remiss.  Here are the progress pics for February I took last week & am just now getting around to editing & posting.  I lost a total of 3.2lbs in January.  Some people may not think that’s much, but I consider it a successful month:~)

Not only am I losing weight, but it’s at as a pleasant side effect of some real changes I am making in my life.  I’m not just eating better, I’m thinking better about eating. I am eating better foods because I want to eat better for me, not because I’m gritting my teeth & trying to stick to a diet. (I don’t know how the italics got on for that sentence, but I like it so I’m keeping it!)  That’s an awesome change that means I can make it a permanent change. Continue reading


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Back from my sneaky hate spiral vacation…

“It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily.
“So it is.”
“And freezing.”
“Is it?”
“Yes,” said Eeyore. “However,” he said, brightening up a little, “we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”
~A. A. Milne, From book Winnie the Pooh~ (Depression Quotes)

Picture of Eeyore under a rain cloud taken from hostbebe.tripod.com, no attribution given by them.

image used from hostbebe.tripod.com

So I took a little time off from blogging & weight watching & exercising to “feel my feelings”.  I got really down & just lost interest in everything, my brain lost the ability to keep up with thinking about & tracking my food, & frankly I was just in that place where my fondest wish is simply to die.  It kinda makes it hard to worry about other stuff. Continue reading


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A List of One: Sneaky Hate Spiral

“In order to send you into truly batshit crazy hysterics, the final straw must cause anger that cannot rationally be directed outward in any way.”
~Hyperbole & A Half “Sneaky Hate Spiral”~

Hyperole & A Half "Sneaky Hate Spiral"

 

Still feeling shitty today, so instead of some carefully crafted list per my usual Thursday Things I present you a list of just one thing:

Hyperbole & A Half’s “Sneaky Hate Spiral”

I think it is a fairly apt description of my mood today.  Today  I did not kill anyone, so I’m counting it is a success.


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I Have Goals – I Swear

“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion.  You must set yourself on fire.”
~Arnold H. Glasow~
(Goal Quotes)
(Maybe not the best quote for bipolar, as some might take it too literally. -DO NOT SET YOURSELF ON FIRE FOR REAL.  IT IS BAD.-)

Parts & yarn for a crocheted doll.

 

Ugh, skipped working out again today:~/  Have been feeling mopey again, though less physically ill.  Definitely having some sinus issues though.  However, I will be finishing the doll again today.  She has haunted me & was a big part in holding me back from wanting to go work out.  (Eventhough I haven’t even worked on her yet, today…)

My niece took her first steps today, so this doll can now be a xmas/birthday/yay-your-legs-work gift.  That’s a lot of mileage for a handmade doll. Continue reading


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Another Do-Nothing Day

“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.”
–Barack Obama

A picture of some macaroni salad that made me sick four years ago.

 

Woke up tired & just not feeling it today.  I had tennis class, but decided to skip it since I was afraid I didn’t have enough gas to get there & back, & the $2 I have left till Thursday would just not cut it if I got up there & couldn’t get back.

I just put $10 in it, but it seems to be using more gas than I’m used to, but I’m used to driving little economy cars & this is more of a cruiser, & of course the gas prices are back up over $3/gal so $10 ain’t what it used to be:~/  Well, I’ll know to budget more gas money for this month. Continue reading