My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

Another Do-Nothing Day

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“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.”
–Barack Obama

A picture of some macaroni salad that made me sick four years ago.

 

Woke up tired & just not feeling it today.  I had tennis class, but decided to skip it since I was afraid I didn’t have enough gas to get there & back, & the $2 I have left till Thursday would just not cut it if I got up there & couldn’t get back.

I just put $10 in it, but it seems to be using more gas than I’m used to, but I’m used to driving little economy cars & this is more of a cruiser, & of course the gas prices are back up over $3/gal so $10 ain’t what it used to be:~/  Well, I’ll know to budget more gas money for this month.

I went back to sleep later & was still sleeping when my dad came home.  He wanted to know why I hadn’t gone to class since I been excited about it.  Of course when I told him, he wanted to know why I hadn’t told him so he could have given me some money.  Oh well.  He was working today & I didn’t decide on it until after I got up.

But that’s why I decided not to live on my own anymore.  I need somebody around to notice what’s going on with me, someone who actually gives a fuck.  That last bit is why I didn’t work out with the “friend” I lived with previously.  He only cared about how what I did impacted him, but that’s about as far as he cared about anyone.  But I digress.

It’s nice to have someone around who notices when I’m excited about something, & is then concerned enough to check up on me when I don’t do it.  Oh yeah, & doesn’t tell me to “just stop” feeling depressed or anxious, & doesn’t blame me for not wanting to hang out with them when half the things I say are ignored & they usually stop talking when I come in the room.  But that’s my fault somehow.  Oops, digressing again:~)  Is my bitter showing?  I was in a cranky, ranting mood yesterday, too.

I think I might be getting sick; maybe a sinus infection.  I have been more tired lately, & today am just feeling off.  Tired, head-achy, stomache has been feeling weird all day, kinda in knots, not really sick.  I had this before with my stomach.  It lasted for days, maybe a couple of weeks, until I went to the doctor & she gave me an antispasmodic.  She never said what it was though, just gave me a prescription.  I didn’t think to ask at the time.  The pill made it stop that day though.  I think it’s an IBS thing.

And sinus issues are old hat for me.  I’m hoping when I have health insurance again I might be able to get something done about it.  I had a bad infection that wouldn’t go away for months about three years ago.  It started after my basement apartment flooded from the apartment above, & just got worse no matter what they did for it until I finally moved.  I don’t think my sinuses have ever fully cleared, & my ears have certainly never stopped ringing.

Oh well, today is my youngest niece’s first birthday, so I’ve been trying to finish up a doll for her (it was supposed to be her xmas present…).  So that has been my focus today.  Not entirely a do-nothing day:~)

Oh, & I have eaten for shit today.  But surely that can’t have anything to do with how bad I feel:~)

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Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

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