“It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily.
“So it is.”
“Yes,” said Eeyore. “However,” he said, brightening up a little, “we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”
~A. A. Milne, From book Winnie the Pooh~ (Depression Quotes)
So I took a little time off from blogging & weight watching & exercising to “feel my feelings”. I got really down & just lost interest in everything, my brain lost the ability to keep up with thinking about & tracking my food, & frankly I was just in that place where my fondest wish is simply to die. It kinda makes it hard to worry about other stuff.
That lasted about a week & I started feeling better. I went to tennis class on Tuesday & even had lunch with a friend before class. I started tracking again today & went to Weight Watchers tonight (& then came home & made a pig of myself at dinner…). I’m up by 1.2lbs, which I expected so no devastation. My goal this week is to get that back off. No exercising also meant I lost my StickK.com challenge for the first time this week, so $5 of my money went to the Bush Presidential Library. Whaaaa! But now I am just more pumped to make sure I get in my three days of exercise each week for the remainder of my contract.
I am really pleased about coming back so quickly from my dark spiral, that’s very rare. I definitely think my emphasis on keeping it casual & not demanding no less than perfection from myself went a long way towards helping. I was able to let go of things that were weighing me down during a hard time (like tracking) & know that it was okay if I wasn’t working out. When I felt better I would start again. Granted while my mood has improved my energy is still flagging a bit & my motivation for some things, but I have already scheduled myself some tennis practice tomorrow, plus back to counting today.
I’m moving forward now because I didn’t need to beat myself up & feel like a failure. And I’m claiming that as a WIN!