My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

I Don’t Belong In This World


“I’m a creep.  I’m a weirdo.  What the hell am I doing here?  I don’t belong here.”
~Radiohead, “Creep”

Continuing to feel very down today.  There is so much wrong in this world & I just don’t have what it takes to fix it or live in it.  I can’t escape the feeling I don’t belong in this world & just want to be done with it.  It’s so sad & tragic.  I can’t even muster the energy to be angry any more.  I just want it all to end.  It’s all so wrong.

Still heading to WW tonight, but not going to attempt Zumba.


Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

12 thoughts on “I Don’t Belong In This World

  1. Yep, that’s me. 🙂

  2. I forgot I even sent that email. Must have been one of my highs. lol

    my twitter isn’t obvious but i do have my real first name associated with it (it’s next to my handle). hoping i left my real name in that email. i’d write my name here but i don’t really want my twitter associated with my blog since i have friends in real life on my twitter account.

  3. Support seems like it should be a required prescription. It’s hard to understand why those around us can see how important support is to getting well. Sometimes it infuriates me.

    Mind if I follow you on twitter?

    • pls do! & i swear i’m going to respond to your email>_< i have it flagged for a response, but… (told you i'm a terrible penpal, lol). will i recognize your twitter handle? if not just tweet me & let me know. i'll follow you back!

      ppl just don't get it. & then there's the whole waiting on pins & needles for my off myself. which i have to say, many days seems like more of a 'when' than an 'if'.

  4. I know what you mean. I was an activist for a long while. (I wonder if our paths ever crossed?) I get obsessed with major headlines and obsess on ideas of how to fight back and such. I think the Wisconsin guy you mentioned is right. You have to fight for yourself.

    This is random but I’ve been semi following the Charlie Sheen fiasco (my vice) and he said something in his looney-ness that I actually thought was useful….earn yourself. It makes sense and is actually worthy advice.

    • oh yeah! i’m following his tweets, lol, & when i got one about earning yourself i had to read it out loud to the friend i was with.

      “You already own you. Now go… Earn the power. Earn the Truth. Earn the most important component in this entire dimension, your self c”

      loved it!

      but yeah, i get to where i’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders & it’s all too, too much. so then it really gets to me when i look around & no one seems to give a shit about me. i really wish i had more support in my real life.

  5. I can literally feel what you are writing. Know that there is someone out there thinking about you.

    • thanks! it does mean a lot. too much wisconsin etc & last night’s earthquake & tsunami madness did not help.

      i used to be an activist. i took a stand. i marched. i was angry & i cared. now, i can hardly even care about myself most days. it really breaks my heart. i feel like i’m turning my back on the good fight, but i guess i have to spend my energy fighting for myself.

      i got a tweet from a guy in wisconsin in mental health, & he encourage me just to take care of myself because they are going to be fine. it meant a lot, but i’m a compulsive worrier with a heart that bleeds like a stuck pig>_<

  6. Can I copy this post to my blog?
    Just saying. I feel you.

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