“Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.” ~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003 (Quote Garden)
At last Thursday’s Weight Watchers weigh-in I lost 2.6lbs; 243.6lbs. Hurray! That put my total loss at 26.6lbs, which meant several things:
- I’m only 0.4lbs from my first 10% goal:~)
- I (finally) got another 5lb star:~) (I regained a good bit after losing 20lbs & getting the 15 & 20lb stars last year.)
- I also earned my 25lb charm:~) Sadly she was out, so it’s on order.
- I recently realized I never got my 16 week charm, so I got that last week:~)
- I got my first 5k charm:~) Still need to write my Run4Chch post (shocker).
- And the biggest news of all probably… I crossed the 100lbs to lose mark:~D The number of pounds to my goal weight is no longer in the triple digits! I still have 98.6lbs to go, so not far under, but it is under & it’s a psychological boundary. If you ever had a hundred pounds or more to lose, you know what I mean.
One kind of depressing thing about getting the charms though – I don’t have the keychain yet. You get that when you lose your first 10%. When I was told this, my first question was “But why would they give you the charms before you even get your keychain?” But before I even finished asking it, I realized… Oh yeah, most people have their 10% before they make the 25lb mark. I just have a really big 10% because I’m really fat. Oy.
I took the progress pics 3/12, the day I did the Run for Christchurch 5K. At that point I was at 246.2. For the beginning of March, 3/3, I weighed in at 247. I only netted a loss of 0.8lbs for February because of two weeks I gained & then a week of maintaining. So with only four weeks in the month, I say pulling off a loss for the month is happy news.
Since I finally got around to posting progress pics, I’m also posting my measurements for March. These were taken Friday, 3/4, if I’m not mistaken.
I went down in the waist & hips, but stayed the same everywhere else. Even with on a few pounds & inches lost since January, I still think you can tell a difference in March’s progress pic & January. Primarily in the profile shot, under my chin & in the belly. My shirt actually nips in a big under the breast because my belly isn’t poking out so far^_^ It’s a man’s t-shirt, so it has a plain, straight cut, no shaping. I can feel the difference in my pants, too. Especially the ones I got last year when I was about 20lbs heavier. My two head shots show a difference, too.
From my last post, about the #7daychip, you know I had a rough start to this week, & that ended up lingering for a few days. I’m still struggling. I’ve been down, & eating is a typical response to my decrease in mood. Food soothes me & makes me happy, so I use it self-medicate. I really got back into the sugar habit, which you probably know is my weakness. I firmly believe I have a sugar addiction. I’ve been trying to get back on track have been eating within my points the last couple of days & have not had any sugar. I think that’s a big part of my mood the last couple of days. Being sooooo close to my 10% goal, I have been extra motivated to fight those cravings.
I’ve been trying to post, but have been unable to get my brain to go along with it. I worked on some projects around the house over the weekend though, which has been a long time coming. I’m nearly done with the part I’m on now, but haven’t done much to it in a couple of days. Seriously, the last two days have been pretty much the sort of days where just getting out of bed can be counted as a success.
So I was feeling hypomanic over the weekend & Monday, starting several things & even managing to finish one – yay!, & then Tuesday it just went thud. I did manage to drathog myself out to the park Tueday though because it had been four days. The walking was fine, but the run part of my intervals fell flat. I just didn’t have it in me, but I gave it what I did have. That represents a real improvement. Exercising is really helping with my moods. I have had some bad episodes, but they have been short-lived & I’ve bounced back much quicker than in the past.
It’s wonderful, but years of experience have me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep wondering when a really bad episode is going to hit me & everything I’ve worked for so far goes out the window. But my insurance should start May 1 & I can start looking for a new therapist & see about getting back on meds. Hopefully I can find someone around here & can get back on track for stability.
It’s weird to think it was just four months ago I overdosed on sleeping pills.
For now I just have to keep moving forward & thinking positive thoughts (or at least not really, really dark thoughts). I think I’ve built a nice support network between this blog & Twitter. For my weight loss & exercise I also have my personal Facebook, but I don’t talk about my mental issues on there much, as I have a lot of family & extended friendships with whom I wouldn’t normally share that information.
So how has your week been? Do you have any online support networks?