“If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.”
~Jack Dixon (Motivating Quotes)
(6/19/2012 – I’m sorry Snevel has disappeared. It isn’t on the site anymore & I can’t find where it has moved to. I’ll leave it here in case it comes back though.)
So I’m going on week 5 of daily exercise, & still feel sluggish. Everything & everyone tells me “exercise will give you energy!” Nope, I just feel tired all the time still.
I’ve been fighting an ear & sinus infection though, & just finished up the rx sinus pills yesterday & will finish the antibiotic tomorrow. Not really feeling much better, but maybe in a few days it will come together.
I lost 1lb at Weight Watchers last Thursday. I had hoped for more, but a loss is a loss. I am hoping for more this week, but was just telling myself tonight to not get my hopes up.
I don’t always lose weight like other people do. It tends to be slower. Reason #1 I quit Weight Watchers the other times. I hated seeing the people around me losing two & three times what I was when I knew I was working hard & staying OP. But every body is different & I can’t compare myself to others.
It is very important I remember weight loss is not the main reason I’m doing this, it is just a side effect. Whether or not I lose weight, I am getting healthier & that’s what’s important. Outside of still being chronically tired, I am feeling better. I can feel myself getting stronger & faster. My mood has still been up & down, but not too drastic. I’ve been feeling hypomanic lately, & obsessed with the workouts, but that seems to be subsiding.
I really hate having to scrutinize every thing I feel or think. I can’t even be happy without worrying about getting too happy. There should be no concept of too happy, but if you’ve ever had a manic episode there is. Getting too happy can lead to very bad things. So I am doomed to a life of moderate emotions. No wonder I’m so miserable>_<
But I’m tired. All day, every day. It seems to take all my energy to get the workouts done & then I just lounge or nap the rest of the day. And it doesn’t matter how much sleep I get at night. I always thought if I could become one of those people who exercised I’d be bursting with energy! But maybe that’s asking too much. Or maybe it just needs more time. Patience never was my strong suit.
I have measurements from when I started the gym challenge & updated progress pics. I just haven’t gotten them on the comp yet or ready to post.
Speaking of the gym challenge I was one of only three people in our group of ten who lost weight the first week. Yay! I lost 1.2lbs according to their scale.
Tonight I started week 3 of the 5K in 100 days program. It is going very well. I have really had to drag myself out the last couple of times, but I have done it. I am getting faster. It’s a pretty great feeling.
I have been thinking about continuing my training beyond the 5K, & some of us have been talking about marathon training. So my mind got a little ahead of itself & overwhelmed. Saturday I had to fight off a meltdown while running my meager minutes & thinking about running an entire 26.2mi marathon.
I can’t even run a whole mile! How will I ever run a marathon? What makes me think I can ever even run an entire 5K?
My mind was panicking with all these negative thoughts. I had to just take a deep breath & remind myself it’s all about baby steps. That week I was running 1min 15secs at a time. This week I’m running 1min 30secs, & I’ll be building from there. I’m getting stronger & I’m getting faster. Right now, that’s all I need to do. No need to worry about running a marathon, a 5K, or even a mile. Right now all I need to worry about is running 1min 30secs.
And last but not least, I am about to put day 10 of being sugar free to bed. I haven’t been officially awarded my 7 day chip for this, but I am already at work on my first 30 day chip. I find my mind wandering into the future, wondering how long I can go without sweets, but again I just have to take a deep breath, refocus, & remind myself it’s about what I’m doing right now; not about what I may or may not be able to do in a few months.
Right now, I’m just still waiting on that magic energy I was promised.