My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

Still Waiting On That Magic Energy I Was Promised…


“If you focus on results, you will never change.  If you focus on change, you will get results.”
~Jack Dixon (Motivating Quotes)

Snevel the Snail - feeling sluggish

Found this cute snail cartoon & wanted to share. It’s from a small cartoon site,, for “Snevel & Co. Featuring the world’s most extreme snail”. The image links to the site.

(6/19/2012 – I’m sorry Snevel has disappeared.  It isn’t on the site anymore & I can’t find where it has moved to.  I’ll leave it here in case it comes back though.)

So I’m going on week 5 of daily exercise, & still feel sluggish.  Everything & everyone tells me “exercise will give you energy!”  Nope, I just feel tired all the time still.

I’ve been fighting an ear & sinus infection though, & just finished up the rx sinus pills yesterday & will finish the antibiotic tomorrow.  Not really feeling much better, but maybe in a few days it will come together.

I lost 1lb at Weight Watchers last Thursday.  I had hoped for more, but a loss is a loss.  I am hoping for more this week, but was just telling myself tonight to not get my hopes up.

I don’t always lose weight like other people do.  It tends to be slower.  Reason #1 I quit Weight Watchers the other times.  I hated seeing the people around me losing two & three times what I was when I knew I was working hard & staying OP.  But every body is different & I can’t compare myself to others.

It is very important I remember weight loss is not the main reason I’m doing this, it is just a side effect.  Whether or not I lose weight, I am getting healthier & that’s what’s important.  Outside of still being chronically tired, I am feeling better.  I can feel myself getting stronger & faster.  My mood has still been up & down, but not too drastic.  I’ve been feeling hypomanic lately, & obsessed with the workouts, but that seems to be subsiding.

I really hate having to scrutinize every thing I feel or think.  I can’t even be happy without worrying about getting too happy.  There should be no concept of too happy, but if you’ve ever had a manic episode there is.  Getting too happy can lead to very bad things.  So I am doomed to a life of moderate emotions.  No wonder I’m so miserable>_<

But I’m tired.  All day, every day.  It seems to take all my energy to get the workouts done & then I just lounge or nap the rest of the day.  And it doesn’t matter how much sleep I get at night.  I always thought if I could become one of those people who exercised I’d be bursting with energy!  But maybe that’s asking too much.  Or maybe it just needs more time.  Patience never was my strong suit.

I have measurements from when I started the gym challenge & updated progress pics.  I just haven’t gotten them on the comp yet or ready to post.

Speaking of the gym challenge I was one of only three people in our group of ten who lost weight the first week.  Yay!  I lost 1.2lbs according to their scale.

Tonight I started week 3 of the 5K in 100 days program.  It is going very well.  I have really had to drag myself out the last couple of times, but I have done it.  I am getting faster.  It’s a pretty great feeling.

I have been thinking about continuing my training beyond the 5K, & some of us have been talking about marathon training.  So my mind got a little ahead of itself & overwhelmed.  Saturday I had to fight off a meltdown while running my meager minutes & thinking about running an entire 26.2mi marathon.

I can’t even run a whole mile!  How will I ever run a marathon?  What makes me think I can ever even run an entire 5K?

My mind was panicking with all these negative thoughts.  I had to just take a deep breath & remind myself it’s all about baby steps.  That week I was running 1min 15secs at a time.  This week I’m running 1min 30secs, & I’ll be building from there.  I’m getting stronger & I’m getting faster.  Right now, that’s all I need to do.  No need to worry about running a marathon, a 5K, or even a mile.  Right now all I need to worry about is running 1min 30secs.

And last but not least, I am about to put day 10 of being sugar free to bed.  I haven’t been officially awarded my 7 day chip for this, but I am already at work on my first 30 day chip.  I find my mind wandering into the future, wondering how long I can go without sweets, but again I just have to take a deep breath, refocus, & remind myself it’s about what I’m doing right now; not about what I may or may not be able to do in a few months.

Right now, I’m just still waiting on that magic energy I was promised.


Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

4 thoughts on “Still Waiting On That Magic Energy I Was Promised…

  1. Have you tried changing up your diet to get more energy? You are using your body more and maybe it needs more fuel.

  2. Have you heard anything about body pH and its affects on the body? There is some great information out there that might be of help to you. I really like Dr. Robert Young and his pH Miracle.

  3. You really are doing great and I can relate to the lack of energy from exercise. It seems I get that energy when I don’t want it – like if I take a walk at night, then I’m given a second wind when I don’t want it and stay up too late. But does exercising first thing in the morning give me spunk all day? Heck no. I wish it did. Mostly after exercise I’m like you – I just want to sit down and sometimes a wave of tiredness washes over me and my body feels like it’s melting into the couch.
    Sometimes I think whether exercise gives you energy or not is genetic or chemical. It’s always those already healthy/skinny people that praise the energy they get… not the chubby for years, tendencies for depression people. My sister has lost almost 130 lbs from gastric bypass and I swear she has less energy than she’s ever had in her life. It’s like some people get it and others don’t – it’s not this one-size-fits-all guaranteed happy effect of exercise.
    On the other hand, if I’m being productive (and upping my heart rate/sweating at the same time, like with cleaning or organizing), I do get what feels like perpetual energy and just a little boost to keep going to the next task. But I think this is more a mental thing that translates physically.
    All I know is that I’ve learned I’d much rather get my exercise in a productive manner (cleaning house, mowing the lawn, weeding/trimming, etc) for hours than do just one 20 minute exercise tape.

  4. Honey, give it time. You’re doing great right now. And right now is the only thing that matters. I’ll also tell you this, my first run with my training group was 3 miles. That’s where we started, and we built on that. I was running about 25 minutes 3 times a week and that was it. And now, 6 months later… well, you know. It can be done!
    After I ran my first 5K, my thought was “what’s next?” and you know what? Your “what’s next” could be another 5K, then some 10ks or a half marathon. Or you could decide that running farther is not for you. But just worry about one thing at a time 🙂

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