“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.”
~ Buddhist Saying (Quotes on Courage)
I’m still around & haven’t forgotten about this blog 🙂 I just had a bad spell, but I survived it. I quit doing WW, though I’m still paying for it, & I quit exercising, both running & the gym. I’m going to get back to WW & running, maybe join a little gym in the next town, but right now I’m not worrying about it. My motto right now is: I’m okay.
I’ve been feeling much better, getting things done around the house & being crafty. I even finally started posting to my crafting blog. Finally. But my good days feel so tenuous, I’m afraid at this point to put any pressure on trying to be more. So it’s okay if I’m not doing this or following that plan. I’m doing something that enriches me, so all good.
I do have healthy eating & activity on my mind though, & I saw this article: The Excuses You Use to Not Stick to Your Exercise Program | World of Psychology.
She made a list based on people her trainer friends saw who generally didn’t last. This one sounds so much like me!
“I can’t wait to start. But first, I need to buy some new clothes. And some new shoes. And a mat. And I want to read up on it, too.”
I had a roommate like this. She loved shopping and everything involved in the preparation stage. But once she had all the stuff she needed for yoga or roller-blading or whatever, she lost interest.
I am such a shopper/preparer! I love planning, hate doing. I have been aware for a while of my habit of being all about something, till I feel settled enough in it to shop for it. Then once I spend all this money on whatever it is, I suddenly lose interest. What’s that about? Apparently ^^that^^ is what it’s about.
In other news, I finally broke down & went back to the MHC after exhausting all other reasonable options for care; which turned out to be none. So waiting for my Medicare & then spending months combing for another provider turned out to be a waste of time. Who knew?
I had my intake, had to pay another hundred dollars, & I have my psych appointment coming up. It’s next week, but I am thinking I’m going to have to push it back a week. I start my group therapy next month.
Yep, they only have one Medicare approved therapist, so all Medicare patients can get is group therapy one hour once a month. At first I was angry, but that’s where I was at the time. I focused on moving passed that, especially the day of, & moving passed my feelings toward the receptionist who is the one who refused to let me talk to anyone about refills why I was late for my appointment, & couldn’t get another one sooner than a month away. But let’s note dwell in the past.
I did it. I stayed calm & am looking at the positives of only get a one hour therapy session once a month with a room full of strangers. It’s cheaper. Lower copays & only having to travel once a month saves on gas. And maybe it will be good for me to get to talk with other people who have similar problems. Not that I know the other people will all be Bipolar, but surely we’ll have some similarities.
On that note, I know this sounds mean, but I hope there are other high function adults in my session. I don’t mind having sessions with other people who do not have my intellect or abilities, not at all, but one of the issues I have is being perceived as not having anything wrong with me & feeling like disability resources are not for me.
I got information on the Ticket To Work people for jobs for people on disability, but it all seemed like workshop jobs for people with different mental & physical abilities, none of which would be appropriate for me. I discussed the issue at intake & getting a job is something we are going to work on once I’m stable on meds.
But that’s the issue. It isn’t anything personal against differently-abled people, it is that I need a therapeutic environment where I feel okay, & not where I look at everyone else & wonder what I’m doing here. Hopefully I explained that well enough to make some sort of sense.
Hope you guys are doing well! Hopefully it won’t take me three months to post again. I finally figured out the Press It! bookmarklet, so it’s much handier now when I find things of interest online.