My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

Talking Turkey On Thanksgiving

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“The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.”
~Dodie Smith (Quote Garden)

Me in a beret trying to smile.

It’s me! Wearing a beret & trying not to look angry while taking my own picture. Not sure why I seem to look angry in most pics I take of myself, guess it’s concentrating.

So I got the rare invite to a holiday dinner with my sister & her clique of cousins on my mother’s side of the family.  I used to try to find out what was going on when, but I got tired of people hem-hawing around it when I asked & then not returning my calls.

I had a good time.  Granted my outfit was a bit an unfortunate choice, but I wore nice shoes.  That counts for a lot.  I’ve lost enough weight now that things are fitting so well anymore, but not so much that it’s worth fixing or replace them, so I just look schlumpy every where I go.  It’s not outside the norm for me anyway.

So, my cousin who has lost a bunch of weight after having gastric bypass caught me alone on the couch & told me all about it.  What it was like, how it was after, the depression she felt the first couple of months since she could no longer comfort herself with food, insurance issues with it, what led to her decision to do it, everything.

This was after she had been talking to my sister. I can’t say they were talking about me, as they are a gossipy bunch so I naturally try not to keep up with what the hens are clucking about.  During the conversation she never seemed to be suggesting it to me, but the fact that it came completely out of left field & she came all the way over to me to talk about it left me with one assumption.

“Hey Joy, why don’t you have the surgery too?  Think of all the weight you can lose, just like me!”

Possibly I read too much into it.  It happens.  But I listened & went along politely.  Talked about other people I’ve known who have had gastric bypass & the lap band.

I can’t say I haven’t thought about it.  Actually several years ago I found myself seriously looking into it, but that’s when I realized how much my weight bothered me & started trying to get serious about changing my habits.  So it’s been a rough several years.  Pretty much the same on again/off again as it has been since starting this blog.  Meh.

The best I did was when I was stable on an anti-depressant & on meds for sugar & hormones.  I lost thirty pounds in a few months.  Without either of those it’s taken me nearly a year & a half to lose that much.  But I have an appointment coming up to get started on my psych meds again, & from there I’m going to try & get back on metformin & birth  control for my PCOS.

But that was my holiday.  I had dinner with my father’s family Wednesday.  I texted with a friend of mine to work out what to wear, so I was much happier with my outfit then.  I have pictures!  Okay, a picture & it’s a crappy cell pic of me in a mirror in my tiny room.

My TD2011 outfit

TD2011 outfit for Wednesday night.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!  Or a great day if you are not in the US:)

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Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

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