My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

New Pic Mark, & A Bit About Running While Fat & Female

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It's me, running, in a pink top & my other running stuff like big sunglasses, a striped sweat towel, & my orange mp3 player.It’s me! I’m wearing pink & showing my arms!
And check out the new pic mark I made.  It’s a WIP.  It’s prescription pills & running shoes.

This was me Monday evening.  I decided to wear bright pink & rock the naked arms.  And I ain’t even carin’ bout people seeing my fat arms.  I wasn’t nearly as miserable as I look, btw.  I just always look sour in photos.  As I told my friends about a photo of me I recently posted to my personal fb page, “I experimented with smiling but if you saw the Shrek movie where he tried to smile & it scared off all the little woodland creatures… it was like that.”

And I’m omw out to run, so I’ll keep this quick, but I read a blog post on a friend’s fb page tonight about the beginning fat runner having the courage to get out there & it got me thinking.  The comments on that article reminded me of so many things I have read about the just plain rude remarks & actions so many fat people have gotten just trying to get out & be fit.  Things like being mooed at, being told to leave because nobody wants to see them, having things thrown at them, etc.

It made me reflect on the things that happened to me, which was – none of that.  I feel very fortunate for that & I’m sure that has a large part in how much I enjoy running.  I wonder if maybe it has happened somewhere along the line & I just didn’t let it register?  But I can’t think of anything, & certainly no one has done anything physical.  I have however been cheered on by people walking around the park, which was pretty awesome.

I think some of the difference is owed to living in a small town, where I grew up & all my family lives.  People know they are probably related to you or friends with someone who is related to you, so anything they say or do is going to get back to their family & they are going to have to explain themselves.  How many times have I had to hear either about something I did or something one of my relatives did?  As crazy as my family is I pretty much can’t go anywhere people recognize me without hearing about something.  It’s why I wear my big dark glasses when I’m out.  I try not to be recognized, because frankly I am over my drunk aunt showing up on somebody’s porch in the middle of night yelling or the other aunt who smokes crack & walks up & down the road at night cussing out anyone who stops to see if she needs a ride.  Yep, my family tree has a lot of nuts but at least it’s never boring!

The only events to make me feel uncomfortable while I was out were on account of my femaleness, mostly the fact I have huge boobs & if they have invented the sports bra to keep them from bouncing I can’t afford it.  I’ve been whistled at & had rude things yelled at me like I’m out there putting on a show &, most especially, there are creepers who get behind me & drive real slow for a bit.  Oh, & the honkers.  I hate being honked at, I don’t care what the reason is for it.  Not a big fan of sudden loud noises.

What’s worse about the creepers is they come out during the after school hours when the young girls are out having cheerleading & softball practice.  Gross.  These are not young boys driving those cars.  I hate that these creepy men make me feel uncomfortable outside though.  Even when I was quite young  I remember grown men cruising me when I would ride my bike or looking me over when I was out like I was a snack.  I remember one time I was out riding my bike, I was about 14yo, & this guy drove by me, watched me so long I’m surprised he didn’t drive off the road, then he turned around & drove passed me again a couple of times.  A grown man.  I was concerned the next time he came by he might stop & try to grab me.  If we’d had cam phones back then I would have taken a pic & texted it to somebody just in case.  It made me very uncomfortable, & honestly I am still uncomfortable around men in terms of my body.

It’s a shame that we can’t just let people be outside enjoying themselves, or in a gym getting their workout on, or anywhere they want to be, without some people feeling their bodies are somehow open for comment, assault, or just plain creepy behavior.  Do these people not have mommas to teach them manners?

That’s all I have to say today.  Just wanted to try out the tag for my photos & muse a little about how rude some people can be when they see bodies, whether they like them or not.

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Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

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