“Find the crack…In the darkness, there’s always a crack. It’s how the light gets in.”
~Fringe “Northwest Passage“
I guess that should say “Hope you had a happy Halloween…” I’ve been trying to write this post all day, but I kept doing stuff like mopping, cleaning, taking out the garbage, etc. Where are my priorities?? But seriously, I am glad to be feeling a bit more motivated & energetic these days. Sad I haven’t been able to run this week, but I get my new shoes Saturday. Hurray!
This post has been sitting in my drafts for a while, & as you might guess from the quotes I was Fringe bingeing before this final season started. I loved that line & it reminded me of something I mentioned in a post over the summer but never followed up on. I mentioned I had started crying while I was running, but what was I crying about?
I was out running & suddenly wanted to dance. I saw myself dancing in the road. I saw myself going out dancing when I move to Portland. And I cried because I realized I felt happy. For the first time in a decade I felt genuinely, hopefully, enduringly happy. Over the years I’ve had moments of being happy, but never anything that stuck, that felt real. I used to love to dance. I went dancing every weekend, I danced at home, I took dance lessons, & I even danced in the grocery store much to my roommate’s embarrassment Years of living with Depression had taken that away from me; Depression is the thief of happiness.