Yesterday I returned from a twelve day stay at the local psych hospital. It wasn’t the best one I’ve been in (I’ve got two others to compare it to), but I’m not dead or a murderess so I guess I can’t complain. I made some new friends & got some new meds. They kept the Lamictal the same, & added Wellbutrin BID & changed my Buspar to BID rather than PRN. I got an official diagnosis for my depersonalization episodes, since I started having them there after being surrounded by people for more than a week with no place to go & escape. They are anxiety related, so I spent two of the last days I was there having them to one extent or another because I was just maxed out on people who didn’t live in a box I can turn off when it gets overwhelming.
I hiked up the drama factor by deactivating my facebook account the day I made the decision to go to the ER. The two things were only indirectly related though. I just knew that I needed to unplug because I was being eaten alive by other people’s drama & I had enough on my own plate. I couldn’t stay off it though, so I decided to temporarily pull the plug to force myself off.
The noise in my head combined with a painful, raging sinus infection to make it just that much harder to fight, so after a convo with a friend who texted me to find out what happened to my fb, I got to see my thoughts/feelings in text form & knew I had to do something. I had spent the day with the number for my MHC’s crisis line, but you know how I feel about phone calls so I couldn’t get myself to dial it. I even put it in my phone so it was just sitting there looking at me funny. You also know how I feel about things that look at me funny. So I decided to head to an ER at a hospital with a psych facility. I knew whatever they did I would at the least have a real person to talk to.
I kept a journal while I was in there & have a lot to talk about. I’ll be sprinkling it about, but right now I need to dig up something more than an apple & a Sunkist for breakfast so I can take my meds. yippee.
Oh, I also owe you a race report because I did run (& I use the term loosely here) my 5K the day before.