“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
~Hal Borland (Quote Garden)
So the quote & the pic are a bit contradictory, but that seems to suit me. I had intended to do this yesterday when all the good bloggers were doing it, but you’ve probably figured out by now I’m not one of those people. One of my resolves for 2012 was not to let blogging become something else to stress over, & it has certainly made this the shelter it was meant to be. I plan to keep that up in 2013, but I do have a goal of posting more regularly since I am still working on habit building & getting into schedules I can rely on when I feel like falling apart. It happens.
Not to mention I plan on doing more career path type writing, so this is good practice. I joined the Mental Health Writers Guild. Hopefully I can get their logo up soon, since it just happened over the weekend. I’ve also agreed to do a radio show for a friend who is starting an internet radio station. It’ll be a fun chance for me to focus on my funny stuff & just acting stupid for people who can’t actually see me while I’m doing it. Win – Win. One of the things I want to try is stand-up, also writing & voice work so it was a perfect opportunity.
2012 was a pretty good year for me. First & foremost, I didn’t kill anyone, including myself. That’s always worthy of celebration. Technologically I upgraded to a smartphone & was able to start using gps tracking during my runs & mood/med trackers, as well as others. It’s still kind of new, but I plan to discuss the ones I’ve tried in a post soon-ish.
I got deeper into my running, & was finally able to run a mile. I went on to pass the 5K mark, & “ran” my first official 5K. The race didn’t go well for me, but it did help me identify some problems with my anxiety & discomfort with new environments. I also did a guest post over at Salty Running about being a fat runner. (I’ve been invited to guest post on another active lifestyle blog.)
A part of my running has been embracing Health At Every Size (HAES), so I focus on running because I enjoy it & because it makes me feel better mentally & physically, not as means of punishing myself for something I ate or simply for having the wrong sort of body. It has made a huge difference in my enjoyment of movement & how I feel about myself. No giving up because I’m not losing the weight I expected.
I survived another hospitalization right after the race where I was put on an antidepressant & my anxiety med was bumped up from prn to twice daily. That has made a big difference.
I have become more social, reconnected with an old friend in the area, & have even started connecting with some single men in an effort to get back into the dating scene. My self-confidence is way up, & I have shaken all but a few cobwebs of the worthless feelings off. I’ve been taking more care of my appearance, even dressing up when I go out more, & documenting it in pics ^_^ (I bought a curling iron…)
And naturally I ended a really good year of taking meds & keeping appointments, & making good progress, by getting kicked out of the mental health center again. le sigh I have a post planned about it, but end of the year prep has kept me too busy to think much about it.
That’s the highlights of my 2012 as far as this blog is concerned. Hopefully I’ll get back on tonight to discuss my plans for 2013. In the meantime, here are some gratuitous pics of me behind the jump. Hope you had a great 2012 & are looking forward an even better 2013!