My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

Maintaining Friendships And Relationships With Bipolar Disorder | Bipolar Manifesto

18 Comments

You can’t stop loving or wanting to love because when its right it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.
~Keith Sweat (Brainy Quotes)

Ron Burgundy (Anchorman) "Well that escalated quickly."
Maintaining Friendships And Relationships With Bipolar Disorder | Bipolar Manifesto

So I came clean last night.  I have mentioned having anxiety & depression, & planned to tell him eventually about being bipolar, but things have progressed faster than expected with our relationship.  My birthday is this week, so I felt I needed to go ahead & be honest about being bipolar & on disability because if he was going to break up with me over it, might as well do it now before he buys me a present or something. When people ask what I do I tell them I’m a writer because I have no interest in getting into some judgmental pissing contest about whether my disease is real & if I deserve to be on disability.  With our relationship getting more serious, it felt dishonest & I just didn’t want him to feel strung along or like I had been dishonest.

Naturally, I went in there all dramatic like I had just killed a small child, but when I told him all he said was it was courageous of me to be so honest with him & he wanted to know how he can support me.  It was a great relief.  We got to talking politics the other day & he’s a fiscal conservative, so the disability part was really my biggest concern.  I went into more detail about my history & my illness that I would have otherwise just because I wanted to paint the picture of how I came to be on disability & what it has meant for me.  In general, I am far more sensitive about being on disability than I am about being bipolar.  I’ve been bipolar a lot longer.

On that note, I found a well-written article on bipolar disorder & relationships.  My favorite bit of advice is for the people who have a bipolar loved one.  It rings so true for me from the perspective of a person living with bipolar disorder.

A Bipolar that is in an unwell period is perceiving life through a twisted lens. We react to things in ways that make no sense to anyone but us. The person that you know and love is in there.

I recommend checking out the rest of this post at the link below.

Maintaining Friendships And Relationships With Bipolar Disorder | Bipolar Manifesto

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Author: despitemyself

A person in flux.

18 thoughts on “Maintaining Friendships And Relationships With Bipolar Disorder | Bipolar Manifesto

  1. My opinion all most like Dennis, but what about what about post title and replies from others? I hardly can found the similarity between this two. Thanks poster and commenter..

    • Chato! I am familiar with your work. ^_^ Thanks for stopping by & commenting.

      I think you might be referring to a comment left by a friend of mine which became more personal thread between us than anything related to the article.

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  5. Oh damn., I’m reading the post and it is really hitting me right in the parts. I am a little worried now, maybe I AM bipolar? May have to use my google fu

  6. I’m so glad he took it well and was supportive! That quote really did hit home for me as well even though I’ve never been diagnosed bipolar, just depression. I’m going through a tough bit right now, and that really was how I think people are viewing me lately, like nothing I’m doing makes any sense whatsoever but to me, it does.

    I just really love you.

    • I really love you too ❤

      I'm glad you could take something away from that quote. It really resonated with me. I think it's hard for people to understand because when I'm sick my perception is so off. Everything feels incredibly personal & pretty much worst case scenario at all times. Everything is forever & always & the worst & will never be any better. It's a time of very extreme, & black & white thinking.

      • Yes exactly. And now I am seeing them discover that exact same thing in my child and it makes my heart implode.

          • I was talking to a “friend” last night, and made this same comment. Her response: “yeah he went through a lot in his young life” That stabbed my right in the heart. I felt like, yeah, I’m such a shitty mother and did so many stupid things when he was a toddler I caused him to be just as damaged as me. I closed the chat, and removed her from my facebook. I know that’s not what she SAID, but that’s how it felt.

            • That does sound hurtful & a bit judgemental. I’m sure I would have reacted the same as you. But then we know I have an itchy unfriending finger.

              • My fb is my space, & if anyone becomes stressful they have to go. Naturally, I give some people more leeway than others & what sort of mood I’m in has a lot to do with my patience level, but I will not hesitate to cut a bitch.

                • That’s how I feel about FB too. I only refriended her recently, and now I”m wondering, do I really need her? I used to think of her as so wise and caring and loving, but it seems she reserves that for a special few these days and I’m no longer part of that circle. Coming out of the two year cocoon I was forced into I’m finding that I feel that way a lot and I wonder if it’s worth it to try to go back in. In this case, I’m starting to think no.

  7. Hey there. I’m Dennis, the one who wrote the post you referenced. I”m glad you found it useful and helpful! Thank you for the appropriate credit and link!

    A couple of comments on your post here! I’ve found that most fiscal conservatives I’ve interacted with aren’t necessarily against Disability and social services in general; they are mostly against the “perception” of the “fakers and deadbeats”.

    In the event that someone wants to spar about our Disorder being “real”; I just ask them what their opinion means versus the couple hundred years the Disorder has been studied. Before it was Bipolar Disorder it was Manic-Depression, before that it was known as the Circular Disease. The Disorder has a very storied, well-documented history.

    If that fails I make a point of the worst period in my life- which I only recommend if you’re comfortable with that. I’ll talk about eating out of a dumpster, suicide attempts, drug abuse; and so on because I frankly don’t give a shit. It’s not like those people were around when I was at my worst.

    Genuine ignorance will crumble to truth. Only willful ignorance remains. And who cares what people who choose to remain willfully ignorance think? I don’t. You shouldn’t either!

    Good luck with the boyfriend! 🙂

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