My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

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Building Your Home Gym

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
~Agatha Christie (HuffPo)

This raccoon is rocking the home workout.

Since I posted The Minute Jar yesterday, I thought I would give you some ideas for fitness equipment you can stock up on to help you out at home.

To that end I found this article on WebMD, “At-Home Workouts: 5 Essential Items for a Home Gym“.  This actually lists several items in five categories: cardio, strength, balance, flexibility, & Guidance.  They list a variety of options at different price points, as well as advice from personal trainers & how much space you need to use the different options.

At Real Simple, I found “The Best Fitness Tools for Your Home Gym“.  They polled their “exer-stars” for compilations of favorite tips & tools in categories by budget & level.

I’ve posted about home gym equipment before, so here’s a handy list of links:

DIY Foam Roller for $2.49
How To Foam Roll Like A Pro | Greatist
21 DIY Gym Equipment Projects to Make at Home | Greatist

Hope this helps!


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Growing While Sitting Still

Sometimes we grow while sitting still.
~Me, to my previous therapist
She thought it sounded smart.

I'm tired... a list of reasons to finish that & ends with "But most of all, I'm just tired of being tired."

(Note: I wrote this last night & scheduled it for this morning, so when I talk about “today” I am referring to Friday.)

There is a sense in our society that we have to be active, on the move to grow.  The idea of sitting still & being quiet for a while as a mechanism for growth is ludicrous.  Stop?  We can’t stop!  We have plans & goals & stuff to do.

I have found a few days of quiet solitude can be worth weeks or months of dragging an open wound through the mud.  I have been having one of those weeks.  I haven’t quite gotten back on track since my routine was shaken up by the weekend of house sitting a few weeks ago.  Try as I might, I just haven’t gotten everything to gel again yet.  I had a bit of a break down on Monday when I wanted to clean house, but couldn’t find my mp3 player.  I like to listen to the Mental Health Happy Hour podcast while I clean because it keeps me going much longer than I would on my own.  I hate housework & I’m really lazy about it.

I have been feeling a bit manic lately & when I couldn’t find my mp3 player (turns out I had packed it in my laptop bag & forgotten) I had a major meltdown.  This led to me taking to my bed for a few days because I didn’t know what to do with all the rage inside me other than run away to join the circus or setting this place on fire.  Since I don’t know where the circus even is, I wasn’t left with any good options.

To a lot of people this would probably seem self-indulgent, & I won’t deny it is to an extent, but knowing myself it was the best thing for me to do.  I have learned over the years when I can power through it & when it is time to take a few days to be alone to sort through my feelings & decide what I need to do with them.   Like now, sometimes there are just no good answers & you have to just stay the course however much it sucks & find the lesson in it.  Use the time to quietly grow as a person.  I’m certain by the time I get out of here I am going to be an awesome fucking person.

Beyond the cut, this post devolves into self-pity, so it’s up to you if want to bother reading my whining.

Continue reading

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“If you have a setback, and you’re not doing well and then you overcome it somehow, it always sticks with you. You know it could happen again”
~Sam Donaldson (Brainy Quotes)

GRR This is my angry face

More sullen, less cute, & you’ve almost got it.

So I went fifteen days of maintaining my habits, & then hit a little bump in the road.  I’m getting it back on track today though.

The funny thing is, it started Wednesday, when I saw the psych nurse.  I told her all about it & how things have been going, & she decided I was doing so well she was going to leave my meds where they are for another couple of months & see how things are going then.

It was a pretty good day, till I got home.  My dad was sick, so he was already in for the day sitting on the couch watching tv.  For some reason this pissed me right off.  I went straight to my room without even speaking to him or looking at him.  I like staying in my room & pretending he doesn’t exist & I don’t actually live in this shit hole.

I had bought a pizza on my way home, & when I saw he was home, I wouldn’t even bring it in the house.  I left it in the car for a few hours till I realized he wasn’t going anywhere, so I brought it inside.  Thankfully he could tell I was in no mood, so he didn’t speak to me or ask many any questions.  I had expected him to say something idiotic like “Did you bring home a pizza?”  Fuck yeah, it’s a pizza. What the hell else does it look like? A new couch??

So that continued for a few days.  Technically it is still continuing.  I was feeling pretty good today till I heard him come home & suddenly I felt dark again.  But I have laid in bed for three days doing nothing of merit & I really need to pull myself out of this slump.

Clearly I am having some mania issues, because despite knowing I need to not be spending my money, I stayed up all night & made a 4am Walmart run.  I needed something for my acid reflux & decided buy something for each of my three habits to encourage me back on track.  I went a teensy bit overboard though.  Oops!  Irritability for no clear reason, plotting the doom of others & myself, & spending money I don’t have.  Yep, it’s hypomania.  I miss the manic episodes where I became the exuberant party girl who stayed up for days & danced around naked.  Where did she go?? Continue reading


Now That’s It’s Thursday Again… Last Week’s Weigh-In

“Reality check:  you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight.  At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems.  You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life.  Losing weight is not a cure for life.” ~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003 (Quote Garden)

March 2011 progress pic

..And finally here is March’s progress pic, since it’s nearly April. I started March at 247, but this pic was taken at 246.2.

At last Thursday’s Weight Watchers weigh-in I lost 2.6lbs; 243.6lbs.  Hurray!  That put my total loss at 26.6lbs, which meant several things:

  1. I’m only 0.4lbs from my first 10% goal:~) Continue reading


And Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Postings

“The reason one writes isn’t the fact he wants to say something. He writes because he has something to say.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald~

LOLcat too cool for rage


First, let me just open by saying I hate noisy eaters.  I disgusts me to have to listen to it.  Whether it’s smacking, grunting, or those diners who ooh, ah, & moan over their food so much it’s no surprise when they need a cigarette after their meal, I can’t stand it.  Okay, now that I’ve gotten that pet peeve off my chest, let’s move along. (But it really is gross & rude.)

Decided to go back to my original posting regimen & daily themes.  I tried a looser posting style, & ended up not posting so much.  So that makes today Mental Health Monday.  Yay?

We had a big day today weather-wise & lost power for a few hours, so I’m getting around to this later than I had planned. Continue reading


Today Was Better & It Kinda Disturbs Me

“Ask yourself: ‘Can I give more?’. The answer is usually: ‘Yes’.”
-Paul Tergat, Kenyan professional marathoner (Running Quotes)

My feet while walking in the park.

I may have used this one before, but it’s the most apropos photo I have & I couldn’t find anything online I like & feel comfortable using.  Those are my feet in my shoes at the park.  Pretty much what I looked like today, except I wore gray sweatpants today.

Today was a better day.  So why does that disturb me you are probably wondering?  Because I lost 3.2 pounds last night at Weight Watchers.  That’s more than enough to cover what I had gained over the last two weeks, so I feel confident last week’s gain was a result of fluid or something like that from having been extra active that week.  What disturbs me about it is I don’t like the idea my mood over the last week was so influenced by my weigh-in.  Of course that wasn’t all it was.  Moods & emotions are too complex for that.  Today was all sunshine & rainbows.  Not to mention I had a free waffle coupon for my birthday I traded in today.  Nummy! Continue reading


So… I’m Really Angry These Days

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

image used from

Yeah.  I noticed I had not only gotten back to actively playing facebook games.  Not just the usual three or four, but bunches of games.  I started playing them not just in the evenings while watching TV, but first thing in the morning when I got up.  I have been spending hours day & night on these wastes of time.  Okay, me wasting hours of my day on gaming is nothing new, but on facebook games??

I decided to limit myself & focus more on things around the house I’ve been procrastinating on, & that’s where it got crazy.  I realized I was angry.  Really, really, crazy angry.  About anything & everything.  The kind of angry where someone saying hello might as well be punching me in the face. Continue reading