My Year To Thrive

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou


Small Acts of Self-Care as an Intentional Practice | Everyday Feminism

greenroth being kind to yourself

Small Acts of Self-Care as an Intentional Practice — Everyday Feminism

When I went to look for an image to accompany this share, I thought this image was pretty perfect.  I almost didn’t bother today, but I convinced myself to do it anyway. (yay me!)  So here is something short & sweet.

 …without perspective, everything is personal, and this makes it easy to beat up an already bruised existence.

So maybe it’s time to change the way you look at yourself.

Think about it. How much more can you see from a second or third floor window than you can from the first floor? It’s the same with who we are.

If we never look at ourselves through a different frame, we’ll always appear the same.

If we stare at ourselves in front of the mirror or lie in our beds all of the time thinking the same self-deprecating thoughts, we’ll never set ourselves up for a new kind of series where we catalogue all of the ordinary that makes us extraordinary.

Read the rest at Everyday Feminism.



Happy Birthday To Me!

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
Oprah Winfrey (Brainy Quote)

Today is my birthday.  I had another post planned, but decided to go with something more appropriate to the occasion.

What did I accomplish in the last year of my life? Continue reading

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Shame-Loss Ads | The Nearsighted Owl

I am going to take weight loss ads and redraw them to be body positive. Instead of encouraging you to drop pounds, they will celebrate dropping our body shame and fat hate! It was satisfying to take a message I have been assaulted with since the holidays and transform it into something I am in love with.
~Rachele, The Nearsighted Owl

Happy being fat

All images are from The Nearsighted Owl & clicking them takes you to the source post.

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10 reasons why it Was Worth Getting Out Of Bed Today

I find it immensely helpful to look at lists of days past and see that there was always something that I gained from getting out of bed, even if it was just a cup of tea or experiencing a fortunately timed gust of a warm breeze.
~Anxiety Cat

Anxiety Cat | If any of you ever have trouble getting out of bed…

As I have in many years past, I have started a paper journal of sorts for the year.  I have a list of things to track & it’s always fun to see how far I get each year. ;~)  It started when a therapist several years ago wanted me to write down three things I liked about myself every day.  It had to be three & no, I couldn’t use the same things every day.  It seemed like a daunting task.  I’m still threatened by the idea of having to come up with three reasons to like myself every day, but one is manageable.

This year my daily list involves:

  • Something I Like About Myself
  • Three Goals For Today
  • Something Good About Today
  • Something I Love
  • Something I Am Afraid Of
  • What Made Me Anxious Today

If you listen to the Mental Illness Happy Hour, you probably recognize the love/afraid of items.  I was inspired to track my own list of loves & fears by the show.  I am hopeful adding the list of things that make me anxious will help me tame the beast by getting those things out of my head & onto paper where I can see just how silly they are.  My list gives me something to think about in the morning & at night which I like.  I get to plan ahead & reflect back on the day.

I found the worksheet above on tumblr & thought I would share it here for anyone who needs a little nudge from time to time.

Enjoy & I would love to hear if this helps anyone, or if you do something similar!

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A Day Late: 2012 In Review

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
~Hal Borland (Quote Garden)

Goodbye, 2012!

So the quote & the pic are a bit contradictory, but that seems to suit me.  I had intended to do this yesterday when all the good bloggers were doing it, but you’ve probably figured out by now I’m not one of those people.  One of my resolves for 2012 was not to let blogging become something else to stress over, & it has certainly made this the shelter it was meant to be.  I plan to keep that up in 2013, but I do have a goal of posting more regularly since I am still working on habit building & getting into schedules I can rely on when I feel like falling apart.  It happens.

Not to mention I plan on doing more career path type writing, so this is good practice.  I joined the Mental Health Writers Guild.  Hopefully I can get their logo up soon, since it just happened over the weekend.  I’ve also agreed to do a radio show for a friend who is starting an internet radio station.  It’ll be a fun chance for me to focus on my funny stuff & just acting stupid for people who can’t actually see me while I’m doing it.  Win – Win.  One of the things I want to try is stand-up, also writing & voice work so it was a perfect opportunity.

2012 was a pretty good year for me.  First & foremost, I didn’t kill anyone, including myself.  That’s always worthy of celebration.  Technologically I upgraded to a smartphone & was able to start using gps tracking during my runs & mood/med trackers, as well as others.  It’s still kind of new, but I plan to discuss the ones I’ve tried in a post soon-ish.

I got deeper into my running, & was finally able to run a mile.  I went on to pass the 5K mark, & “ran” my first official 5K.  The race didn’t go well for me, but it did help me identify some problems with my anxiety & discomfort with new environments.  I also did a guest post over at Salty Running about being a fat runner.  (I’ve been invited to guest post on another active lifestyle blog.)

A part of my running has been embracing Health At Every Size (HAES), so I focus on running because I enjoy it & because it makes me feel better mentally & physically, not as means of punishing myself for something I ate or simply for having the wrong sort of body.  It has made a huge difference in my enjoyment of movement & how I feel about myself.  No giving up because I’m not losing the weight I expected.

I survived another hospitalization right after the race where I was put on an antidepressant & my anxiety med was bumped up from prn to twice daily.  That has made a big difference.

I have become more social, reconnected with an old friend in the area, & have even started connecting with some single men in an effort to get back into the dating scene.  My self-confidence is way up, & I have shaken all but a few cobwebs of the worthless feelings off.  I’ve been taking more care of my appearance, even dressing up when I go out more, & documenting it in pics ^_^  (I bought a curling iron…)

And naturally I ended a really good year of taking meds & keeping appointments, & making good progress, by getting kicked out of the mental health center again.  le sigh  I have a post planned about it, but end of the year prep has kept me too busy to think much about it.

That’s the highlights of my 2012 as far as this blog is concerned.  Hopefully I’ll get back on tonight to discuss my plans for 2013.  In the meantime, here are some gratuitous pics of me behind the jump.  Hope you had a great 2012 & are looking forward an even better 2013!

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Happy HAES Holidays Workshop | Dances With Fat

Whether you celebrate a holiday or not, this time of year can be a really stressful for people who practice Size Acceptance and/or Health at Every Size. Tons of mixed messages around food, dealing with family, trying to set weight neutral resolutions and goals while everyone else is starting their new diet. I’ve put together a group of speakers to give you information and ideas to support you having a happy holiday season.

Happy HAES Holidays Workshop « Dances With Fat

I realized after posting about Virtual Curvesfest the other day, I hadn’t posted about Ragen’s holidays HAES workshop.  It’s coming up November 13th & 15th.  Registration is name your own price, & the suggested cost is $39.

You get Ragen Chastain, CJ Legare, Golda Poretsky, Chenese Lewis, & Jeanette Depatie.  There’s a list of workshops on the site.



Running Is My Crack

“Find the crack…In the darkness, there’s always a crack. It’s how the light gets in.”
~Fringe “Northwest Passage

A cat in a tiger costume lounging in a glass with his feet pointed at the camera, text reads "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me some catnip treats".

My nod to the holiday.
Happy Halloween/Samhain/whatever!

(from C.A.A. on fb, click image for link)

I guess that should say “Hope you had a happy Halloween…”  I’ve been trying to write this post all day, but I kept doing stuff like mopping, cleaning, taking out the garbage, etc.  Where are my priorities??  But seriously, I am glad to be feeling a bit more motivated & energetic these days.  Sad I haven’t been able to run this week, but I get my new shoes Saturday.  Hurray!

This post has been sitting in my drafts for a while, & as you might guess from the quotes I was Fringe bingeing before this final season started.  I loved that line & it reminded me of something I mentioned in a post over the summer but never followed up on.  I mentioned I had started crying while I was running, but what was I crying about?


I was out running & suddenly wanted to dance.  I saw myself dancing in the road.  I saw myself going out dancing when I move to Portland.  And I cried because I realized I felt happy.  For the first time in a decade I felt genuinely, hopefully, enduringly happy.  Over the years I’ve had moments of being happy, but never anything that stuck, that felt real.  I used to love to dance.  I went dancing every weekend, I danced at home, I took dance lessons, & I even danced in the grocery store much to my roommate’s embarrassment   Years of living with Depression had taken that away from me; Depression is the thief of happiness.

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